We’ve all experienced moments of anger when our emotions push us into making, well, not the wisest choices. When we get frustrated, we often do things that aren’t positive. Emotions aren’t good or bad per se—it’s the act that you wind up taking that’s either toxic or positive.
So how do you not fly off the handle in the moment when it matters most and make good decisions instead of ones you may regret? Here are a couple of very helpful tips:
1. Never make an important decision when you’re angry or frustrated. When caught in the heat of the moment, Lindner says to take a step back, and evaluate the situation from a clearer place. We tend to make irrational decisions when we’re fueled by emotions. So, even if you’re tempted to prove someone else wrong or have your side understood ASAP, make it a rule of thumb to never make a decision when you’d love to lash out. Cool down, and think about what it is you actually want out of that choice or interaction. (And may we also suggest a quick meditation trick?)
2. Focus on the big picture. We have a tendency to forget the big picture when we’re angry. When working on a business deal, and the terms changed, if we yell and scream, we would probably lose the deal entirely. That's counter to achieving what we really want. Once we take the time to calm down (see Tip No. 1), think about what your goals are in a particular situation and stay true to those goals despite frustration or anger, which are likely temporary. We want to make sure that whatever we do, it’s consistent with what we want from the larger relationship.
3. Be consequence cognizant. A quick way to re-focus on what matters and act accordingly (i.e., not like a hot head) is to think about what you’ve invested in the situation and in yourself—time at your job building seniority, for example—and how it might be affected. One poor decision made from anger can throw off all you’ve worked for. From Warren Buffett’s solid council: “It can take twenty years to built a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.”
—excerpted from Amy Eley
Anger is one of the most misunderstood and overused of human emotions. Anger is a natural emotion that every human and many non-human animals experience. We need to understand that anger is a reaction to an inner emotion and not a planned action.Anger management is a procedure of acquiring the skills to recognize signs that you are becoming angry, and taking action to deal with the situation in a positive way.
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